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Rock in Sand

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Welcome to stillhotunderthecollar.com, a continuing conversation for those things that stir us up, give us pause, or make us hot under the collar.

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Monday Morning Musing: In Bruce's Own Words

I’ve written so much about Bruce’s death and my grief.  But Bruce lived a big life.  And he would have been the last person to tell you...

Monday Morning Musing: August Arrivals

Time, as we grieve, as I grieve, has taken on a strange quality. Twenty three days of May were lost to the calendar, it seems, and belong...

Monday Morning Musing: Light and Shadows

There’s so much that I learned from Bruce over the almost two decades of our relationship.  It was fortuitous that, while we held the...

Matchbox Messages + Other Pink Signs

I am really just winging this grieving/bereavement thing.  Honestly.  Someone recently chastised me, me, over here still counting in...

Call My Name

This one hits so differently this year.  Honestly, everything hits differently now.  Making coffee, going to sleep, waking up….nothing is...

Monday Morning Musing: God Calling

I’m beginning this Monday after a full and lively weekend of celebrations for my new colleague at Gloria Dei,  Pastor Zach.  Or, as the...

Monday Morning Musing: Healing One Another

In the days following Bruce’s death I had a repeated longing to talk to my maternal grandmother, my Nanny. She has been gone from this...

Independence Day

Bruce and I were never consistent about how we celebrated Independence Day.  Sometimes we just stayed at home.  Sometimes we braved the...

Monday Morning Musing: Time Travel

Yesterday I realized that we would have no June 31st on the calendar to mark the month since Bruce’s death.   As we do in September,...

Monday Morning Musing: Lean on Me

Lean on me, when you’re not strong, I’ll be your friend, I’ll help you carry on, for it won’t be long ‘til I’m gonna need, somebody to...

Friday the 13th and Black Cat visitors

Friday, June 13, 2025 When Bruce was in the hospital, the day shift nurse always changed the day and date on the white board in his room,...

Monday Morning Musing: New Truths

For the past month, the majority of my writing has been posted to Caring Bridge.  There was, I believe, exactly one Substack post in what...

Monday Morning Musing: The Beating of the Drum

For the first time since I started this Eastertide gratitude practice, I’ve let it lapse.  It’s not that I am not grateful for many...

Fifty Days of Gratitude: Days 6,7,8,&9

Now that the PNW is trying its hardest to give us more consecutive days without rain, I’ve been walking outside more often than I do in...

Fifty Days of Gratitude: Day 5

This morning I read that the National Institutes of Health were going to cut funding that supports research into women’s health,...

Fifty Days of Gratitude: Day Four

One of the positive things about Social Media is that it’s possible to go back and see what we’ve posted on this date in years past.  For...

Fifty Days of Gratitude: Day Three

I’ve long considered three my lucky number.  I don’t know why exactly, but I don’t have to look far for the best example.  I am the very...

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